my own drum

In this post I think I shall cheat a bit, and quote from one of our historic literary personages, Henry David Thoreau, from his book, Walden. I've been re-reading this book of late, and there on page 12 I seem to have found, once again, a pattern or a template for living, for my own life. I could only wish that all men would adopt the same sort of self-critical introspection of their lives.

Walden is one of those books that is designed, in my belief, to teach us about ourselves more than about the actual subject matter. Mr. Thoreau did not retreat to to Walden pond to write about the trees, the birds, the insects, the weather or even the pond itself. He was frustrated with what he saw as a failure of modern man to grasp the simple realities of this thing which we call life. He knew, deep within his soul, that man was reaching much farther than was necessary and was becoming more mired in the results.

In my own life, I have made the decision to withdraw from so many of the luxuries that make our current existence that which it is. To be certain, I still avail myself of those luxuries - the fact that I am writing in a blog that is posted instantaneously around the globe via the internet, and that whilst I write said blog I can avail myself of the instantaneous spell checker is proof enough that I have not retreated to the caveman existence of my humble ancestry. Yet I try. In my abode there is no television, no radio, no telephone, no bathroom! Imagine! Yet I survive, and have done so for some time now, with little more than minor inconvenience. It has been my discovery that there is no need for a car, or any of those other items I've already mentioned. Living life on life's terms is just not that difficult. And, it is sometimes made easier by the kind generosity of those curious folks around me. They can sense something is different here, and I can sense their fear of the unknown, and of the unwilling. Life is, indeed, good.

And so, without further ado, let me get back to Mr. Thoreau and his book, Walden. Please do yourself a favor and read this book at the first opportunity.

The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of any thing, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? You may say the wisest thing you can old man, -- you who have lived seventy years, not without honor of a kind, -- I hear an irrestible voice which invites me away from all that. One generation abandons the enterprises of another like stranded vessels.

I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do. We may waive just so much care of ourselves as we honestly bestow elsewhere. Nature is well adapted to our weakness as to our strength. The incessant anxiety and strain of some is a well nigh incurable form of disease. We are made to exaggerate the importance of what work we do; and yet how much is not done by us! or, what if we had taken sick? How vigilant we are! determined not to live by faith if we can avoid it; all the day long on the alert, at night we unwillingly say our prayers and commit ourselves to uncertainties. So thoroughly and sincerely are we compelled to live, reverencing our life, and denying the possibility of change. This is the only way, we say; but there are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one centre. All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place in every instant. Confucius said, "To know that we know what we know, and that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge." When a man has reduced a fact of the imagination to be a fact to his understanding, I forsee that all men will at length establish their lives on that basis.

Thoreau, Henry David. Walden
Edited with an Introduction and Notes by Stephen Fender
Oxford University Press, 1997.
(pg 12)

I've just read yet another tragic American story, one that is repeated far too often in too many of our cities. This particular story appeared in the New York Times online edition on August 18, 2008, and recounts a recent and senseless killing in Birmingham, Alabama. The victim, LaWanda Russell, aged 17, was caught in the crossfire of an argument that was being settled with gunfire. She knew all of the shooters, the one who fired the fatal shots was a neighbor and lifelong friend. That one was shooting at her boyfriend as he (the boyfriend) was driving up to the home where LaWanda lived with her parents. She was in the car. And as the gunfire broke out she attempted to flee into her parents home. She didn't make it.

The media in Birmingham is playing this up, attempting to galvanize the citizenry into doing something, anything, about the escalating violence in their city. And I hope they find success. But how many more innocent victims in how many more American cities will it take before we, as a nation of free citizens, decide that enough is enough and begin to take responsibility for restoring a sense of decency back into our lives.

How many of you hear gunfire every night, and simply hope that the bullets pass you by this time? How many of you witness the drug dealing, the prostitution, the idleness that seems to be at the core of much of our violence? How many of you have read to your child today, or told him or her that you love them, or have done much of anything beyond ensuring that your own meager needs have been met, without a care or consideration of your neighbors, friends, countrymen? I think, far too many.

This is a country of citizens, founded on moral principles that have been refined over the years to become all inclusive. We are all citizens. Not just a few of us, not just the white men, but everyone. This change didn't come easy, but here we are today, with so many American citizens refusing to exert a finger to help promote a sense of decency in our cities. What are you afraid of, America? Why won't you do anything? And be sure of this, when the rights that you enjoy today are stripped away, you will be the first to scream. So take some action, today.

Here's a little known fact, criminals are afraid of law-abiding citizens. They run like cockroaches at the first hint of light. So grab a flashlight and start shining it on your streets and alleyways. We can solve many of the problems in our society if we act as a concerned society. If you think our government will fix everything, and if you are waiting for that to happen, then you have absolutely no right to wail when you lose your cherished rights, either through the enactment of legislation or by the bullet of a thug.

It's no secret that there are numerous people in this country that are living on the edge, paycheck to paycheck, one step away from homelessness and hunger. For most of them it's not a matter of fault (at least not theirs) because they simply lack the education, or wherewithal, to make any financial improvements in their lives. They are stuck. And there are some, like myself, who have consciously decided to eschew the system, to live life one day at a time, without worrying about the next paycheck. There is an immense freedom in that, if you can do it.

But, let it be understood that to live in our society, a certain amount of cash is often required. I cannot march into the local Kroger store and barter for a cart full of groceries. It simply doesn't work, those people want cash. And so for them, and thousands more like them, I do work from time to time in order to generate a small cash flow. It should be noted that my average yearly income for the past several years has been less than $6000.00. Remember I'm not complaining, this is a choice I made.

So it really gripes my ass when I do happen to perform some work, expecting cash remuneration, and then get stiffed. That doesn't happen too often, but since my arrival in Atlanta last January it's happened three times.

The first time was a "had to have it done now" paint job. I'm no painter and I made that clear from the beginning. No problem, I was assured. The job came to me on a Saturday afternoon (late) and it needed to be done before the following Monday morning - less than 48 hours; and I did just that. Then I got stiffed for half of the amount due. And the jerk who still owes me is just that, a jerk. I've given up on calling him; instead I've turned him over to my Higher Power, and I truly hope he receives the Karmic reaction that he so well deserves.

The final time occurred just very recently. I was asked to be a webmaster for a new site, and we discussed duties and a payment schedule. It was all verbal, done on a handshake. Since I tend to trust people, I assumed the deal was done. So we registered a domain, set up a web host, and I went to work. In the first two weeks I was paid a pittance of $40.00 each week. On the third week, I was told (not directly) that I was on hold until further notice. Hold my ass! I put my best effort on building that small site, and that effort is reflected in today's SERP's (Search Engine Result Placement). The site currently holds the number one position for all of the relevant search phrases. Now you tell me, did I do shabby work with those results after just one month? How about I tell you... No! My work was excellent. So why can't I get paid? Who knows. None of my messages are being answered anymore. I have a solution to this problem, but my concern is that it's even a problem. I kept up my end of the bargain. If I've received no response by next week then I'll gladly post the relevant information here.

Why are some people seemingly so cheap? To be sure, this sort of behavior is not inherent in everyone I work for. Many of the people (my clients) are not only happy with my performance, they are generous to a large degree. And still others have been generous with providing services, like this computer I'm using today. But overall I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of trying to make a living in Atlanta. I can't survive off the good graces of a few, especially knowing there are those out there who could have been able to help make a difference in my meager existence. Cheap Bastards!

I'll get off my soapbox now, Thank You.

OK, I don't usually cross post stuff from YouTube, you know what you like and how to find it already, right? But I'm going to make an exception this one time. A friend, let's call her Em, created this totally awesome video of her art in motion, music in motion, motion in motion. I'm at a loss to describe it to you, so you really should just click the button and watch for yourself.

Em is darned good artist too, so this post links back to her blog where you can view a sampling of her work. I have a friend who is an art teacher and he tells me this girl is a natural artist, one who would be tainted by a formal art education. She is inspired and uninhibited, fresh and edgy, and just too damn cool for words. In her own words, "Don't put me in a box, man."

Enjoy.